1. If I accomplish nothing more in life I would be 100% happy being in love, married, and a mommy.
2. I've known basically since I came out of the womb that I was going to be a teacher. I want to be the person who makes a lasting positive influence on kids-maybe when they don't have anyone else who will do that for them.
3. THE best gift my parents could have or ever will give me was raising me in a Christian home. I can't imagine how different my life would be without that because it has shaped everything about who I am today. I will be forever grateful to them for that.
4. Mexican food is my most favorite food in all the world!!
5. I can't imagine it being possible to love any children as deeply as I love my niece and nephew. I'll probably have this feeling until I have kids of my own someday.
6. I was almost born in Paris, France. Which leads me to...
7. When I was in 4th grade we had a substitute one day and she asked the class if any of us had ever been out of the country before. I raised my hand and proudly exclaimed that "I had been to Europe before!" She asked how I liked it and I said "I don't remember it my parents took me along when I was a baby." This was completely untrue, but I had decided since my mom was in Europe while she was 8 months pregnant with me that counted as me going along on the trip...I have no idea why I did that. It was silly and dumb.
8. I've always wanted an older brother- and to have a bigger family.
9. I'm a little bit obsessed with reality tv. Especially if it's on Bravo or E! All those shows suck me in and I can't help but watch.
10. After working at a florist for 2 and a half years it's made me obsessed with flowers. They are one of my secret passions. Anywhere I go that has flowers I automatically start to critique the arrangement in my head-I can't help it my brain does it without even thinking about it.
11. I've always wanted to live in Colorado Springs, but I probably never will because I don't want to leave my family behind.
12. I find it much easier to be friends with people older than me, than my own age. We're talking like around 10 years older and up.
13. I sometimes feel like I have an old soul in a young persons body. In a sense that I'm conservative and old fashioned.
14. I love the snow, cold, and winter. I wish I lived in a place that had more of it.
15. Graduating high school early was the best decision that I've ever made. I just wish I decided to do it sooner.
16. I'm a sucker for blonde hair-blue eyed guys, it gets me every time yet I have never dated one.
17. March 1 will always be a sour day in my book-as it was the day we found out about my mom's affair.
18. I love scary movies.
19. I usually bathe twice a day and everyone makes fun of me for that.
20. I desperately wish there was a way I could keep my niece and nephew from ever experiencing any of life's pain and heartache.
21. I drink enough water for a camel to survive on.
22. I love love love going to the lake in the summer. Except Lake Lewisville because that's toxic to everyone's health.
23. US Weekly magazine is one of my guilty pleasures.
24. I think The Office is one of the most genius tv shows ever created and I never miss it!
25. My faith is the most important thing I have-and something I will always hold onto for dear life.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
how can you even say that?
Last week at school we were having a discussion in one of my classes about the influence religion has had on and in literature. We were specifically looking at a play that the Catholic church had banned from being performed in the 18th century because it was interpreted as being blasphemous. The point of the lecture was that the church was so involved in monitoring everyone and everything at this period in time it was rare that anything non-secular be published. Things then somehow shifted onto the subject of Jesus. And here's where things go sour for me.
The rest of the story isn't very good because I don't remember how the conversation went leading up to this..but next thing I know one of my classmates is saying something about how "in the Bible Jesus was also portrayed as a selfish person at times." She said "He was caring and loved other people, but ultimately like all others he had to look out for number one (himself) first, like everyone else has to." My first reaction upon hearing this was..how can you even say that?? That's the most proposterous thing I've ever heard?! Of course I said these things inside my head but I seriously was shocked. I really am a horrible story teller because I honestly can't remember how that even related to our discussion, I think because I was so taken aback by her words..I have never heard another human say anything like that before.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since then either. At first I was shocked and thought, clearly you haven't read the Bible because if you HAVE..then you would know Jesus is anything BUT selfish. He would have been the first person to give anyone in need the shirt off his back, his shoes, food, anything. Jesus Christ was without a doubt the most self-LESS man that has or will ever live. After I've now had time to think about it longer it's actually just made me sad for this classmate of mine. I don't know her at all or anything about her, but I don't want that to be her only perception of Jesus.
I'm trying to find a new church to go to that I really love and can call my own. I really want to get involved in a small group or something too. I'm serious and determined to get plugged in somewhere. This task is kind of daunting/scary/difficult for me because none and I mean none of my friends go to church wellll except one...so it's just basically me on my own. :/
Someone please wish me luck.
The rest of the story isn't very good because I don't remember how the conversation went leading up to this..but next thing I know one of my classmates is saying something about how "in the Bible Jesus was also portrayed as a selfish person at times." She said "He was caring and loved other people, but ultimately like all others he had to look out for number one (himself) first, like everyone else has to." My first reaction upon hearing this was..how can you even say that?? That's the most proposterous thing I've ever heard?! Of course I said these things inside my head but I seriously was shocked. I really am a horrible story teller because I honestly can't remember how that even related to our discussion, I think because I was so taken aback by her words..I have never heard another human say anything like that before.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since then either. At first I was shocked and thought, clearly you haven't read the Bible because if you HAVE..then you would know Jesus is anything BUT selfish. He would have been the first person to give anyone in need the shirt off his back, his shoes, food, anything. Jesus Christ was without a doubt the most self-LESS man that has or will ever live. After I've now had time to think about it longer it's actually just made me sad for this classmate of mine. I don't know her at all or anything about her, but I don't want that to be her only perception of Jesus.
I'm trying to find a new church to go to that I really love and can call my own. I really want to get involved in a small group or something too. I'm serious and determined to get plugged in somewhere. This task is kind of daunting/scary/difficult for me because none and I mean none of my friends go to church wellll except one...so it's just basically me on my own. :/
Someone please wish me luck.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
amazing grace
Oh brother, where to even start on this thing? I didn't think I'd ever be one of those people who had a blog, I didn't think it was stupid or anything, just didn't think it was for me I never really had anything to write about. But now I find myself really needing some kind of release and I don't want to talk to the people closest to me about this junk..soooo here I am. This first one might be kind of heavy, so I apologize but I have to get this stuff out before my brain explodes.
Basically the last 3-3 and 1/2 years I've been walking around on auto-pilot, and haven't been living the kind of lifestyle I should have. Being a Christian almost my whole life I knew in my head and most of all my heart I wasn't living the way God has called me to, but mainly because of apathy and the people I surrounded myself with I still didn't care that I was living an unholy life. By societies' standards there was nothing wrong with me, I never did anything illegal and I was a "good" person, but slowly I began lowering the high standards I had for myself each day. Anyway, I could go on about that for much longer but the point is that somehow, for whatever reason something clicked in my head again and told me that I HAD to get back on track and make things right with God. I am so so so thankful for the Lord's infinite love and grace through all the times we are so stupid and when we go astray. For so long I couldn't feel his presence and I longed for it, for the tiniest little spark just to know He was still around and I got nothing. Then I realized that He was never gone, He never left, it was me my heart wasn't in the right place and I had been pushing Him away the whole time. How amazing is God's ever forgiving grace when we need it the most!
This brings me to someone very close to my heart- how is it that you as a Christian are supposed to sit by and watch someone close to you live their life in an un-Christlike way when they were raised in the church? It breaks my heart to watch this person in their daily life, with their kids, with the relationship they are in (which is not a holy one) and have Christ not be at the center of any of that..simply because of apathy. It's really difficult for me to sit by and pray for this person and accept that that's the only thing I can do. It hurts me too much that church and Christ used to be a priority to them and now it simply doesn't even matter anymore. So I'm asking anyone..what are you supposed to do?
Anyway, if you made it to the end of this post thanks for reading. I'm sorry if it seems random but I have alot on my mind right now and lots of thoughts keep popping up!
Basically the last 3-3 and 1/2 years I've been walking around on auto-pilot, and haven't been living the kind of lifestyle I should have. Being a Christian almost my whole life I knew in my head and most of all my heart I wasn't living the way God has called me to, but mainly because of apathy and the people I surrounded myself with I still didn't care that I was living an unholy life. By societies' standards there was nothing wrong with me, I never did anything illegal and I was a "good" person, but slowly I began lowering the high standards I had for myself each day. Anyway, I could go on about that for much longer but the point is that somehow, for whatever reason something clicked in my head again and told me that I HAD to get back on track and make things right with God. I am so so so thankful for the Lord's infinite love and grace through all the times we are so stupid and when we go astray. For so long I couldn't feel his presence and I longed for it, for the tiniest little spark just to know He was still around and I got nothing. Then I realized that He was never gone, He never left, it was me my heart wasn't in the right place and I had been pushing Him away the whole time. How amazing is God's ever forgiving grace when we need it the most!
This brings me to someone very close to my heart- how is it that you as a Christian are supposed to sit by and watch someone close to you live their life in an un-Christlike way when they were raised in the church? It breaks my heart to watch this person in their daily life, with their kids, with the relationship they are in (which is not a holy one) and have Christ not be at the center of any of that..simply because of apathy. It's really difficult for me to sit by and pray for this person and accept that that's the only thing I can do. It hurts me too much that church and Christ used to be a priority to them and now it simply doesn't even matter anymore. So I'm asking anyone..what are you supposed to do?
Anyway, if you made it to the end of this post thanks for reading. I'm sorry if it seems random but I have alot on my mind right now and lots of thoughts keep popping up!
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